How do I create the space that allows my life flow?
Growing up we have spent much time socializing. Beginning in childhood we acquired the values, habits and attitudes of the society we live in. Much of the time we model our self expression to meet expectations. It may seem impossible to reconnect to the self that has all choices available and is not molded by others expectations, but the truth is that it takes awareness.
It is not the living up to expectations that is the problem but rather that our responses have become automatic and unconscious. Some responses are beneficial on automatic because it frees our thinking and planning space. Some responses don’t get us where we would like to be in life. At those moments of dissatisfaction becoming conscious of our responses, and why we chose them offers us the possibility for a new choice.
There is no self that is solid but rather the self is formed in the moment in response to internal and external input. If we are longing for a different life experience, we need to change our response to the input. Our response depends on how we read the stimulus and what we need. Therefore the skill resides in being able to identify both our thoughts and also what we need in the moment.
Experiencing our needs is the key to entering the journey of self connection. In every situation we made a choice, and everything we ever chose reflects the intention to meet a need or a value we hold dear. Most of the time we are not consciously aware of this. What is a need? My teacher showed me that needs are my life flowing through me.
Needs are layered, and even when we give up a need it is because we are acknowledging another need. For example when a mom stays up with her upset child she is giving up meeting her need for rest in order to satisfy the need to nurture her child.
Whenever you make a choice no matter how small ask yourself what need are you meeting, and reflect on whether or not the choice you are making truly meets that need. If the need cannot be met in that moment perhaps ponder on how this need is an expression of the beauty of life. This attitude will nurture an appreciation of your experience of life and support continuous intimacy with yourself.
We are so excited by everything a baby masters, or even when it tries and fails because we see the beauty of his/her longing, Well the beauty of life unfolding never changes. We just lose that awareness. We just start to measure our performance and evaluate our right to it, but life is always magical and always longing for itself.
